The title could be construed in a myriad of ways. Do you learn how to be a bystander? Do you learn how to intervene with bystanders? Do you learn how to intervene as a bystander during training? Do you learn how to standby during intervention, or during intervention training? The list goes on . . .
Well, I, your humble liason of military affairs, am here to inform you that Bystander Intervention Training is training that instructs one how to prevent sexual assault if one should find his or herself to be a bystander should a sexual assault arise, or if it appears as though someone is taking advantage of another. You are probably thinking to yourself, and again, rightfully so, "Jesse, surely you jest!" Unfortunately, I jest not.
Now, before I dump on the Air Force, let me say they did do one thing right: they segregated the sexes for this briefing.
So, upon this journey in illicit carnality we embarked.
Many, many ridiculous things were said during this briefing, and unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I cannot recall them all. There are two things that stick out in my mind in particular, and they both involve women and society.
First, and perhaps worst of all, the person giving the briefing had us perform an exercise that involved all the men in the room closing their eyes and imagining their mother, sister, wife or daughter being sexually assaulted. There are so many issues with this on so many levels. First and foremost, average, healthy, mentally sound men don't think about sexual assault or rape. Period. They just don't. Healthy, mentally sound men do not say to themselves as they walk out the door to have a drink at the local watering hole, "Gee, I really hope I don't have to intervene in a sexual assault this evening." Nor do healthy, mentally sound men who have a grasp on the reality and gravity of rape or sexual assault say to themselves as they walk out the door, "Ooo, a good, old fashioned forced, unlawful, carnal knowledge sounds good tonight. I think I just might do that."
So, its bad enough that they are forcing these things, these thoughts down our throats. Mind you, this is mandatory, I get in trouble if I refuse to go. We have to sit there and pretend that this is part of our everyday lives, that this is something that we encounter or have to deal with on a regular basis. Don't misunderstand me, I am fully aware that rape or sexual assault occurs more often then it should, but it doesn't occur so often that I need to be forced to make it part of my daily routine, whether it be in thought, potency, or act. This is just simply ridiculous.
The second part of this awful exercise is not only do they ask us to meditate on rape and sexual assault, but they ask us to envision our mothers, daughters and sisters in a sexual encounter. Albeit a sexual encounter against their will, a sexual encounter nonetheless. With the exception of Freudians, mainstream psychology would deem this reprehensible. Again, normal, healthy, mentally sound men do not think about, nor do they want to or enjoy thinking about or envisioning their sisters, mothers or daughters in a sexual situation, be it rape, assault or consensual. This is just not a normal thing.
The second thing that really stuck with me was a question that was posed to us, and it was, "Do you think it is acceptable for consenting adults who are intoxicated to engage in sexual activity?"
Thankfully, the obvious scenario that arose in the mind of every single man in the room, and probably simultaneously at that, was immediately excluded. The person giving the brief expalined a married couple doesn't count. Then he said that its not ok for intoxicated, consenting adults to engage in sexual activity.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Marriage set aside, this statement maintains its idiocy.
Our post-modern society encourages all sorts of sexual behavior. Thanks to the Sexual Revolution, we have been freed from the chains of the drab and boring and dull sex our ancestors used to engage in. After all, it was the hippies who were the first to try all these new things, right? No one ever did what the hippies did, right?
In our society, we can do whatever we want when it comes to sex. It can be homosexual, it can be heterosexual, it can be in public, it can be in bars, it can be sodomy, it can be oral, it can be in a french maid outfit, it can be in a pink bunny suit, it can be performed while high on cocaine or ecstasy, or it can be done in the middle of a crowded dance floor in a club in South Beach. The military hands out condoms like candy and reminds us to practice safe sex. Surely, I belabor the point. But, but, throw alcohol in the mix, and sex suddenly becomes illicit!?!?!?
You can do all these things, and no one can tell you that its wrong. If you want to do it, just do it! Express yourself, its healthy to explore your sexuality. This is what we constantly hear, right? But all of a sudden, alcohol is involved and sex is the forbidden fruit! If I, at the age of 28, wanted my girlfriend to come over and have dinner, then maybe we had a few glasses of wine, we snuggled on the couch, one thing led to another . . . yada yada yada, the military would look down on such reprehensible behavior, because, of course, you can't drink and copulate, right? But, the eighteen year old who walks into the med clinic looking for condoms because he is going to go to the closest club, to find the closest, scantily clad slut and bring her back to his dorm room and have her spend the night is told "Good, job, you are practicing safe sex! Go get 'em, tiger! Knock 'em dead! Express yourself!"
It cannot be described better than how Shears from Bridge on The River Kwai described the final scene of the book, "Madness . . . madness!"
My last point is this. One of the angles that the man giving the briefing came at us from was "Do you think that this (sexual assault/rape) is how women should be treated?" Of course no one thinks that! But my problem with this is that in no way, shape or form does the military or society attempt to acknowledge, identify, separate or protect womanhood at any time. They allow them to live with men in close quarters, they allow them to serve along side men, they allow them to perform all the same jobs as men do (with very, very few exceptions) and they even appoint them leadership positions over men.
The last example is a particularly grave case of the failure of women in the military, for, in order to get a bunch of men, and women for that matter, to listen to you, you have to act like a man!
Society and the military refuse to acknowledge the distinction between the sexes, and they do their best to breed this into the culture of the military (despite their attampts, take comfort in the fact that the enlisted corp, believe it or not, doesn't take to kindly to this being forced upon them, even after all these years), except now, this man has the audacity to call upon our natural sense of chivalry which has been all but completely wiped out by the military and society to rally us against rape and sexual assault!
It has always been more acceptable in culture, for some reason unbeknownst to me, for men to be a little sexually promiscuous and not women. Except today, woman are allowed to be as sexually explicit as the dirtiest old man one can imagine. So, on any old day, a woman can, to use an example from above, dress in a tiny ball of string that barely covers anything at all, walk into a club, dance like an animal until her clothes fall off, find the closest willing victim and take him back to her apartment to explore her wildest and deepest sexual fantasies (how is that not assault, after all it is purely utilitarian), and in doing this she degrades her own womanhood. But, we, as men in the military are all of a sudden, and in the example of rape/sexual assault alone, called upon to be the knight in shining armor for a maiden we are told on a daily basis doesn't exist.
I can save a woman from rape, only to have her tell me she is a liberated woman and curse me for holding the door to the emergency room open so she can get to a doctor after her traumatic experience.
"Madness!"
1 comment:
Brilliant, humourous, and intelligent.
Well done.
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